woooo...

Tomorrow is my birthday. I remember when birthday's meant more to me. I remember the excitement burning inside for it to come. How it felt like I was waiting forever for the day of cake, gifts and other screaming children. The joy of the special day when it was finally here and the sorrow of it being over. The older you get the less birthdays seem to matter. My family doesn't even call me anymore. People stop asking how old you are since they know that you'll probably lie or cringe at the question. The enthusiasm of childhood slowly dissolves and is replaced by this almost desolate feeling. The expression of 'you are only as old as you feel' has always made me depressed. I've always felt at least ten years older than I actually am. I guess it's just another reminder that life is passing you by. Almost another way to point out how much you haven't accomplished at your age. I guess such is life! I remember craving adult hoods grasp as a child, yearning for it to come. I remember being so full of hope about going out into this great big world around me and being able to do anything I wanted. Not knowing that the world can be cruel or that you don't get everything you want. Ignorance is bliss. Well I guess with another year under my belt comes another year of wisdom as they say!