Trying to loose layers

I am finally realizing how hard it is to feel even slightly attractive during the winter. I am almost pondering hibernating through the rest of this and resuming life when I can feel my toes again. I keep thinking how ridiculous it would be if I ran a phone sex hot line. Once it gets to the 'what are you wearing right now' question, it all be over for me! That is if I answered honestly; "Oh I'm just wearing tights, long johns, two pairs of socks, leg warmers, pants, a tank top, a tee shirt, a sweater and a parka, but don't you worry it will only take me about twenty minutes to awkwardly strip, but then I have to hide under my massive amounts of blankets..." Doesn't that just make you horny? Any guy would probably loose any want for me right then and there. Silenced by the mind boggling amount of clothing and sudden loss of erection. It's even awkward for me at the end of the day to come some to my apartment alone and peal off the four layers of clothing I have to wear every day now. There is really nothing sexy about suffering through a winter in Minnesota. The wind blowing so hard against your face, that you are left a nasty puddle of tears and snot. You can actually feel the wind cutting through your clothing. Sneaking in and attacking any small piece of skin that might be exposed. From hat hair to possible frostbite, I lack to see the joy of this season. I lack to see how there are actual human beings who enjoy freezing their asses off. This time of year always makes me wish I was fortunate enough to take a vacation somewhere nice. So I can show off my blinding pale skin on the beach and feel the sun radiate on my body again. I guess either way I am left feeling self conscious. There is no winning. It's either possibly blinding people or having to waddle around. I guess I'll just have to wait until it finally gets warmer so i can finally show off my collarbone again. At least the cold hasn't affected my sense of humor yet...