this is it?

The city, work and even life starts to take it toll on me. Downtown is very busy today, it reminds me a lot of the horrid holiday season. People packed in the sky ways, looking like cattle off to be slaughtered. The sound of footsteps marching in unison to the same beat. The suits are yelling on their cell phones. The tear drenched children whining in their mothers arms. I do all I can not to scream, although inner rage causes I tear to drop from my eye. The person in beside me doesn't seem to realize they just elbowed me for the fourth time, my arm will probably be full of bruises tomorrow. I keep walking, trying not to grind my teeth down to my gums. I have my headphones on but this doesn't help drown out all of the noise around me. I can only hear parts of the upbeat tune that I put in. I stare straight ahead, looking no one in the eye. It's part of living here, I've learned it's better to ignore. I make my way through the crowd of lemmings all taking the same path to sudden doom, I grab a coffee and get to work. All this week I've had mundane tasks to accomplish. Silly, little things like bulletin boards and sketches for the monthly newspaper. I feel like I've gotten these jobs because most of the people here don't have a creative bone in their bodies. It's been busier than usual this week, yet it still seems like I am on autopilot. I have made my way through the last couple work days only to go home, strip off my conservative clothing and indulge in a glass or two of wine per night. Usually I don't do this, I try my best not to drink during the work week, it's starting to get harder not to sleep without a glass though. My mind left racing. The noise driving me slightly crazy, although it is kind of quiet, it does not help that my small apartment is right next to a highway. Unnoticeable until the moment I try to go to bed staring at the celling listening to the car whizz by. Sometimes an occasional honk of a horn or the screech of tires, keeping me awake into the early hours of the morning. I groggily get up and set off on the same routine as the day before. Lack of sleep and life in general right now puts me into a rut. I think I need a vacation or maybe I just need to spice things up a bit.