I have problems

I've been in a debate for the past week of my life. You know trying to figure out who I am and all that, A.K.A. a lot of lonely drunken time. I came to the conclusion the other day that I may just be considered a hipster. This has been a hard fact to swallow. I hate hipsters, I have made this very obvious to anyone who might even bring up the fact. While disputing my non-hipsterness with a hippy friend over the weekend all they said was, 'yea, so, hipster hate other hipsters that's like a main qualification'. I usually take about 15 % of what my hippy friends have to take seriously, even less if their not exactly sober. For some reason (I could blame second hand smoke) it made sense. So I did what any concerned citizen would do and I went on Wikipedia.

"Hipster is a slang term which appeared in the 1940s. In the 1990s and 2000s it was used to describe young, recently-settled urban middle class adults and older teenagers with interests in non-mainstream fashion and culture, particularly alternative music, independent rock, independent film, magazines like Vice, Clash and Adbusters, and websites like Pitchfork Media.[1] In some contexts, hipsters are also referred to as scenesters.[2] The term is sometimes used in a derogatory manner, referring to someone who moves from trend to trend while claiming to be outside of mainstream culture."

So yeah... I'm going to come forward now and say that is me. I don't really read the magazines listed but the rest is dead on. According to Wikipedia I'm a hipster. No one ever questions Wikipedia. I wasn't really prepared for this news. I feel like if I was to call my mom to tell her, she probably wouldn't even care. Yet, I would just be left sobbing on my kitchen floor wondering why it had to happen to me.