ramble on....

Wow, I'm updating up a storm here! After a great quite night yesterday I went on a shopping purge today. I don't know why I do it. I spent my lunch hour at the dreaded Target and ended up hobbling to the check out lanes. A full basket and a comforter slung over my back made it really hard to walk! I seem to have came to the conclusion quite some time ago that shopping makes me happy. I know it's such a damn typical girl thing to say. Yet I actually hate shopping. I loathe crowds and don't even get me started on looking for god damn shoes! I tend to get really happy about shopping for shit that I actually need. Yes I get a buzz off of it. Today I was more pumped over cleaning products being on sale then the free lunch I got from work. I must be getting old! My sad existence was brought to a happy medium by cleaning products... I think that's the first time I've actually admitted it.
After I got back from my shopping extravaganza, a girl from work asked me to take a day off. I was kind of offended at first! I mean wouldn't you be! I kind of took offense in the first place because I dislike her. Then she told me she really needed the overtime and gave me the sad story of broke up with boyfriend, blah blah blah. This is the first time I've actually been asked by her to take time off. Actually I think it's the first time ever I've had a coworker ask me to take a day off. So I took friday off, even though things are tight for me too. At least I have paid time off!
I am going to see Choke on Thursday night. Which is something I've been looking forward to. I am really a big fan of Chuck's work. Choke was probably my favorite book out of all that I've read. Yes I do have my gripes about him as most people do. He's so great at sucking you into the story, yet I always feel his endings are far too rushed to tie ends together. This isn't always a bad thing but to me it is. Usually after reading his books I'm just left with that 'what the hell' kind of feeling.
I'm actually excited that I don't have work on friday, so I'm hoping the rest of my week goes quick! I hope you all have a quick week as well! Yes I'm pulling a Chuck and ending it at that!

spilling...

The past few weeks I have had maybe two days to myself when I don't need to be social. My friends have been under the impression that I am depressed so they've been trying to keep me busy. I suppose it makes sense that they feel like they need to be here for me now. Since after I got mugged I wanted to be around people more, but most of them were busy with their own shit. It's felt like they're trying to make up for it but I don't need them to. I'm actually more depressed that I can't have more than one night per week to not have to actually be around anyone but my cat! I like being able to sit around in my pajamas and having the option of just playing Zelda or drinking by myself or both! That's my happy place, by myself and not in pants. Alas, they're girls and they jump to conclusions. Like a few months ago they were concerned that I had an eating disorder because I am thin! These are the same girls who have been my friends for years and I honestly haven't really lost or gain too much since I've met them! Just because I am a bitter, single woman doesn't mean I need help. I do love to be around my lovely coupled friends. I don't like how they can tell me over and over again that one day I'll find love like them. Like that will really change my life that much! Stupid, stupid girls! I'm fully content with my boring life! Now I keep wondering though if I am depressed since I fully allow them to drag me along. Forcing myself to not say no to them. I don't know I have just felt like I really don't care anymore. Not depressed just not caring. I don't know what to think anymore since my mind has went numb after thinking about death far too much since the whole mugging thing. I've brushed it off but I really don't care so I guess they have ever right to think that I am depressed in some ways. I just wish they would actually talk to me about it then assuming that I am. I don't know if that makes any sense or if I'm just being crazy.

I ended up leaving this weekend to get away from their craziness and I suppose my own. I haven't seen my family in months and as usual I doubt it helped. I was extremely intoxicated on saturday with my dad. We saw my dead beat brother, who has two kids and works a part time paper route for a job! He has no intentions of doing anything but sucking off of the states tit. I'm happy that I am the only person in my family who is actually "doing something" even though I'm really not! My mother was quite lovely on sunday. She brought up the mugging, my lack of ambition, my thinness and my singleness all in 7 hours! Oh but she likes my hair! That was the most positive thing she said! So I have the self esteem of a thirteen year old now! Right once I got home the girls dragged me out of the house, so I had ten minutes to myself after the hectic 2 hour drive. They asked me to hang out tonight but I really don't think I can! I need some god damn time~ although they are trying to seduce me with fondue. I've never actually had fondue and I have no will power to actually say no.
I might end up leaving the city again in the next couple weeks to the great state of Wisconsin. A friend of mine moved there 2 years ago. He was in town last thursday and he didn't have time to call me. So I need to go to Madison and kick his ass.... I need a drink already!

I think I enjoy ranting too much.

So I must remain weird with crazy people in my life otherwise I'll have nothing to say on here!

brains are dying

Yea I can write corny articles for the work paper!!!

I think I just died a little inside....
I have nothing else to say....
I'm jumping off a building now

Fergus Falls

Autumn is the time to relax and enjoy beautiful scenery; what a better way to marvel at the changing leaves than a road trip? During a surprisingly quick 3 hour drive northwest of the metro, you’ll have plenty of time to soak all the colors in. When you arrive in Fergus Falls, you feel the comforting vibe of a small town. It’s a great place to go out and enjoy nature. With a thousand lakes and many wilderness trails to choose from, you’ll be glad for the brisk fall air! If you’ve never had the opportunity to feed ducks and geese by hand, check out Lake Alice. It’s the perfect place to stroll around and meet some friendly locals. Don’t forget to bring some bread! For the book enthusiasts there is Biffley’s, where you can roam the shelves that cover floor to ceiling in the basement! They also have a wide variety of kid’s books and those old cassette tapes you thought you’d never see again! There are a few interesting restaurants around town as well. The Viking, which is a hot spot for locals and travelers, has the best breakfast around. The townspeople are more than helpful to let you know where to go for the most crave-worthy food you’ve ever had. Fergus Falls is also home to the world’s largest otter which is located in Grotto Park. Otto, a forty foot long statue, is quite a sight to see! It’s located right next to a great picnic area and playground, which is one of the most relaxing places to finish up those summer reads. Fergus Falls’ slogan is “Find Us, Lose Yourself,” and they do a great job of helping you do just that!

rough

Another day, another migraine. Seems to be the way things are going recently. I am starting to get really tired of being friends with girls. I swear, if I could go one week without being pulled into their mini-dramas I'd actually consider stopping drinking. Since that seems impossible I'm keeping with my alcoholic ways. I was suppose to have received a payment from one of the girls for a refund we got on our hotel room. She has yet to talk to me, go figure!
Yet I know she went on a huge shopping purge over the weekend. I will not call her out on it until my promised money is not put in my hand. The past few months she has been increasingly miserable in her relationship yet she flops back to happy on a whim. It's driving me insane. Don't cave one week and say no I don't see us having a future I just want to stay with him to use him to this week yelling at a concerned friend for giving you any advice on your 'loving relationship'. Women are god damn confusing the hell out of me. This is why I can't be a lesbian, besides the whole not attracted to girls thing.
The almost married friend was the one giving her advice so I don't know if it came out high and mighty since she is getting married. This is where my head explodes and I no longer care. I'm sure if I put it nicely as I can not afford any booze right now and you bitches are driving me crazy I might actually get some money out of her. My sober life needs to be pickled I've listened to way too many girls squabbling this week, damn it! Speaking of women who are annoying me, my supervisor is driving me insane! She has spent a majority of this week on the phone and not communicating with us properly. I'm not a mind reader. I don't know what the hell is going on when she leaves for hours at a time just in my head to piss me off.....

Ohh god I'm becoming more like them. I'm bitching and moaning.

If you want to help me please donate to the "Get me drunk" fund.
All proceeds will go to the liquor store and help me stay out of a mental hospital!

Minnesota Pride

So I feel like I need to put my two cents in like everyone else about the Republican National Convention in town for the next couple days here. The protests that occurred yesterday ending in a mass arrest of people. Hundreds were pepper sprayed, detained, and labeled "anarchist". I know many people who had been there to protest and believe me these people were far from being anarchists. Many young families had brought their children, for god sakes! I was actually on my way to protest when I heard word of the violence that was erupting, so we decided to wait until tonight to go. The streets are swarming with Republicans and police even here in Minneapolis. I understand that a lot of people are upset, but I was under the impression as many people here were, that this was going to be a peaceful protest. MY problem with the Republicans being here is the problems that they create just by being here. St.Paul area should not have to be in a police state. People trying to voice their opinions should not be afraid to do so.
I had the bachelorette party this weekend which we had been planning for the last year. Our hotel decided to GIVE OUR suite away to one of the Republicans and try to replace our suite with twin size bed room. That's right they took our god damn room!!! That deserves anarchy!!! The masses of Republicans staying at our hotel decided to hassle us all night. Many of the YOUNGER males of course were extremely rude to us. When asked if we were voting for McCain we all answered "hell no"! They told us to stay out of the hotel because we were "America haters." I rebuttal with a swift "I don't hate America you see, I hate all of the stupid people who live here though." Remember how I said I get cocky when under pressure? Well being drunk gives that same cocky attitude.... So what does that say? Both sides have their bad seeds. I truly believe that there are good people on each sides and although I lean far more towards the Democratic side. I'm not a huge hippy and I'm sure they are not all gun-wielding idiots. I don't think that destroying property was really a good thing. I think a lot of people do have their stereotypes about the parties. I just believe a lot of people are angry after the past 8 years and want change, whether it be one way or the other. Many of the protesters were just trying to state that opinion. I will definately try to do the same.