Women....

Women, I don't get them. Yes, I know it should be easier for me since I am one of them but it's not. I grew up a tomboy, I didn't really start befriending women until high school and it honestly caused me nothing but trouble! I have a hard time trusting most women. In my experience I always end up getting burnt a lot more by my female friends than their male counterparts. I'm not being sexist this is just my point of view. I've had the 'friends' that stole my boyfriends and spread rumors about me. Those who have took advantage of me and tossed me out on the street like a piece of used furniture. My best friends that I have now are three women. They seem to be a different breed than the ones I have met previously. They have all been through the same things as I have. For the past 2, almost 3 years, I have grown to become family with these girls. To me this is a big accomplishment. I had a large lack of trust for all females even when I first began regularly hanging out with "the girls." Hell, I still have a lack of trust for most of the females out there. No offense to you female reader, hopefully you understand where I am coming from. I let my guard down and ended up falling in love with my girls. They are all very important to me and I love them like they were my sisters. So the thing is we have a regular ladies night. Every week we get together and hang out, It's been tradition since we first started hanging out again. I've been okay with others coming to be part of our ladies night. Usually they don't actually come regularly so it makes it better in my mind. We have a girl though, who keeps coming with. She is a good person and she means well. She was invited to tag along with one of my friends and has proceeded to invite herself to the ladies night. It's not quite a big deal my problem with her is that she annoys the hell out of one of the other girls and myself at sometimes. She tends to dominate conversations and is very pretentious. I also don't really trust her. She has done nothing to me to make me not trust her, it's just a feeling that I have. I know I should be willing and open to accepting her into the group, I just can't. I don't want one person who was not officially invited to join our ladies night to ruin it for the others. I usually have taken the role of our leader. This is by default, I started the tradition and usually no one else tends to step up to the position unless it's necessary. I feel like it is my responsibility to talk to the other girls to see how they feel about letting her keep coming or not. I just don't want to be the one to tell her. I have had the "talk" before with other girls that just weren't working out. It's like breaking up every time and I hate it. It's a lot more difficult to explain to someone that it's not you, it's us. I also don't want to be put in the position where I am always the one to have to let the odd ducks know that they are out. I feel like that might make any other new or drop in girls not want to talk to me. It seems silly but I don't really know what to do. So what are some opinions on how to solve this problem without being seen as the party pooper? While we're at it how can I encourage the other girls to step up and take the leader position as well?